16 weeks update

It is so hard to believe the boys are 16 weeks old! Time is flying by and it makes me so excited for all the things to come, but sad at the same time. It’s going so fast and I miss my little babies. I miss wrapping them in little baby blanket burritos and I miss being able to hold them for more than five minutes without my arms hurting lol

Whenever I feel this way I go to our shared folder of photos of Z & N and look at every picture from their birth. I am then reminded of just HOW tiny they were, and I remember that they were NICU babies after all, and its GREAT that they are happy, healthy  little chunks!

Things that I am looking forward to in the coming months are:

-Sitting unassisted

-Being able to hold their own bottles during feedings

-Starting to introduce solid foods in two months! (also getting off this awfully expensive formula they are on!)

So while I wish they would slow down on growing so fast, it will be nice when they become a little more independent!

Matt and I have also returned back to work. It is has been a little hard, but also nice to get back to the real world. Thank god for snap chat. Getting pictures and videos in the morning makes being at work tolerable. I still wish I could be home with them all day every day, but now I value our evenings together so much! Also I am very thankful that they are always going to be watched by family.

I don’t know how much the boys weigh at the moment, we have their 4 month checkup next week. I am guessing maybe 15-17 lbs. Noah eats WAY more than Z does, and I know he is heavier. We moved them into pack n plays at night in our room, as they were getting too big for the Halo Bassinets! Still not ready to move them into the nursery lol We just bought a new house and will move in sometime in late July, so I think once we move they will move into their rooms…maybe!

1. 
2. ***this is how fast time is going: the boys are actually 17 weeks today! 😂

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13 weeks!!!

Yikes I haven’t updated the blog in sooo long! I guess I’ve just been so busy with the boys and haven’t had a chance to sit down and write about them! 

Zayden and Noah are 13 weeks today! Ahhh! Time is flying by, one week from today and I return to work 🙁 it makes me so sad to leave my babies. They are in great hands though- Matt will be home for another two weeks with them! After that my Mom will take over. I think if they were going to daycare I would have a harder time going back. 

The boys are doing great. They sleep 8 hours a night! We put them down at 8:30 and they sleep until 4:30-5 am. We feed them and then they go back down until 8 am! Then they nap at 11:30 until 2pm.  It’s been amazing and we’re so happy we have gotten them on this schedule that works. Napping can sometimes be iffy (if we aren’t at home for instance) but for the most part it works. 

They have started to smile and laugh at us and it is just the best. We will sit on the couch with them and just spend all our time playing with them and trying to get them to laugh! They love their swings, and their activity gym too. It’s basically musical chairs all day long 😃

Last week we took the babies to meet Dr Stephens. It was great to see her again and have her meet the boys! 

We also took the boys to Chico so they could meet their new cousin Alexis! 

Z & N are lucky to have so many cousins! My sister is also pregnant and due Thanksgiving! So another cousin will be coming soon! 

I can believe how fast they grow and change every day. Being at home with them the last 3 months has been the best time of my life (especially spending it with Matt too) 

Z & N 9 weeks ❤

The boys turned 9 weeks yesterday!

😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢

That’s how I feel about time going so quickly. I have 5 weeks left of maternity leave and then back to work I go. Matt has two weeks off still after I go back too which is nice. Then my mom will take over and watch the boys. We are SUPER fortunate my mother is retiring this year to take care of our boys. 

The babies are doing GREAT. We had their two month checkup yesterday, & Noah is 11 lbs 13 oz, and Zayden is 11 lbs even! They are big for preemie babies but still a little smaller for full term babies their age- so they have some catching up to do. 

They are still primarily formula fed. I won’t say I’ve given up breast feeding- i just accepted that it’s not what is best for our family. I still pump every day to make sure I produce milk, because if the boys get overly fussy I can easily put them on the boob and they fall asleep fast. In fact I am nursing Noah at I write this lol. I did feel guilty in the beginning coming to terms with formula feeding, but I gave it my best and they still get some Breast milk- so I’m over it. Fed is best!

They are doing great sleeping at night too. The last few nights they slept about 6 hrs straight and Tuesday slept 7 hours straight! We feed them every 3 hrs and one small feed before bedtime to “fill their tanks up” at 8 pm it’s bath, last bottle in the dark with no talking & then straight to bed. Works like a charm! 

What we don’t have down is scheduled naps in this house and that’s what we are working on this week. It’s not easy, and we are following BabyWise & happiest baby on the block still. We feed them, then they have some “awake” time, then a nap. We’re letting them cry it out, but only for 3 minutes at a time. 90% of the time they fall asleep before that 3 minutes is up, so it’s going great! I want an established scheduled by the time I go back to work. 

I have also taken Noah to Target twice now. I need to do Zayden but I just get nervous because he can be fussier! I am feeling much more comfortable with the car seats & swings, so next week I will try again.

Every day is just so great being at home with our babies. I feel so happy that Matt & I have this time together with Noah and Zayden! We are very lucky 😊 

Easter 2017 🐰🐥

Z & N 6 weeks!

I can hardly believe that the boys are SIX weeks old today! Their birth is still so fresh in my mind that it doesn’t seem possible that it’s been this long. 

My tiny little 5 pound babies are now chunky little 8 pound babies! 

The babes are eating well (4-5 oz’s!) and growing like weeds. They were recently circumcised (which we stayed in the room for. It was awful and Matt is still traumatized!) We are currently working towards getting them to understand the difference between day/night so they will sleep a little longer in between feeds. I think it is going well, although some days/nights are really hard on us. 

Lack of sleep and taking care of twins is no freaking joke. As the boys get older they sleep less during the day and want to be up.  Matt and I try and send each other upstairs to nap in between feeds, and when they were a few weeks old it was easy because they always slept! Now if one baby is up chances are the other one is too (because they eat at the same time) so it can be difficult if they become fussy! 

Having Matt home has been a complete godsend because two people taking care of two babies helps. Plus it is just nice being able to do this together.  I am sure as soon as they start sleeping longer- last night they slept 4 hours!! Yay!- it will get easier. I have been reading lots of different sleep technique books like Baby Wise and The Happiest Baby on the Block (thank you Dr Stephens!) so we are moving in the right direction! 🙂

We are also trying to get out with the boys as much as we can. Even if that means we put them in their stroller and walk around the block. It’s important to try and get out- I get VERY bad cabin fever, so I think it’s good to get outside and practice being mobile with twins. Before I go back to work I really need to practice going places by myself- I am so nervous because I don’t think I’m ready and I get so anxious. I love Zayden and Noah but I am scared to go anywhere by myself with them. 

I am just amazed at how fast they are growing and how quickly the weeks fly by! I just wish time would slow down! I can’t even imagine how i will feel when it comes time to get ready to go back to work! Still 8 weeks away, so just going to enjoy every minute of being with my babies! People don’t lie when they tell you how fast this all goes 💙

Noah & Zayden: 3 weeks

After a 9 day NICU stay (which seems short but seemed like forever to me) we finally brought Zayden home. It was the Best Day Ever. Getting Zayden home with Noah made everything feel right.

Once they were together Matt and I buckled in for what I would call extreme parenting. We decided to stick with the schedule the NICU nurses had the boys on, so they eat every three hours. We feed them at the same time, this way they wake at the same time too.

Nighttime is the hardest, obviously. Matt and I are each responsible for one twin at night, both of us have a bassinet on our side of the bed. We do all the feeds together and 2 am is our least fav feeding time! Having to get used to sleeping in 2 hr increments is rough! But even at our most zombie- like moments we look at each other at 2 am, each feeding a baby, and we say we can’t believe this is finally our life. It’s great. Exhausting but fantastic ❤️

To add to the craziness of nighttime feeding, I also pump and bottle feed the boys breastmilk. I had a hard time nursing them, since they were pre term, it made me anxious now knowing how much milk they were getting from me. I would inevitably want to follow a nursing session with formula! So while I do still nurse (usually in the middle of the night if they are fussy) sometimes, I mostly pump and bottle feed them breastmilk.

I also have production issues with milk. It seems like I just can’t make enough for each of them to have breastmilk for every feed, so I alternate who gets BM that is pumped. It makes me so sad. I have already had a few meltdowns to Matt how stressful I find nursing/pumping. Do not get me wrong: I believe FED is best. Period. I have no issues supplementing formula for the boys. But right now it’s more like they are formula fed and I supplement with BM☹️ I’m doing my best to make sure they get some breastmilk every day, so I’m trying to not be so hard on myself. 

The boys are each 6 lbs now and their pediatrician check ups have been great! I also have been recovering from the c section very well! After two weeks I was finally able to drive (I was restricted after surgery) and it felt great since I hadn’t driven in forever! It’s nice just having things get a little back to normal.

We are also very fortunate with family and friends wanting to see the twins and coming by to bring food or let us sleep while they watch the boys. Sleep and food have truly become our lifeline since becoming parents to twins!

Things for the boys we could not do without:

Aden & Anais swaddle blankets 

Pack n play 

Rock n plays & Halo bassinets 

Pacifiers 

Burp cloths.(SO MANY)

Baby tracker (I use this one)

Zipper PJs (if you ever think it’s a good idea to buy newborn pajamas with SNAPS instead of zippers, let me tell you – they won’t get used. F snaps) 

Noah & Zaydens newborn shoot last week 💙💙

Zayden & Noah’s birth story Part 2

Matt, Renea, and I watched Zayden & Noah get weighed and measured (both 5 lbs and some) and I couldn’t help but notice that they were not crying anymore. I felt a ton of anxiety watching them and feeling like something was wrong. One of the nurses said Noah needed some respiratory help but that he was okay and would be transferred to the NICU. I looked and Matt and told him to to go with Noah. 

I was just finished being closed up and Zayden was still being looked over as I was being wheeled to recovery. They were on the fence as to whether or not he needed NICU time or if he was ok to come to my room. They stopped my bed at his and I was able to touch him and I ordered my sister to stay with my other son. 

Off in recovery across the hall I was having my vitals taken and talking to two of my nurses. Everyone was commenting on how great it was that the boys were each over 5 lbs, and that I had made it as far as 36 weeks and 6 days. We made small talk about yoga, and I begged for ice chips because I was so thirsty. 

One of the nurses started undoing my blankets over my c section incsision and I could sense her tensing up. She called for the nurses behind the curtain and I started hearing the word “hemmorage” I saw a ton of blankets being pulled off me soaked in my blood. All of a sudden Dr Hastings was back standing over me and about 5 nurses. I just layed back and prayed that my sons were okay- I wasn’t even worried about myself. I heard my sister come in and they wouldn’t let her see me. 

After 10-15 min the hemmorage had been controlled- and Dr Hastings explained to me that sometimes twin uteruses have a hard time contracting back to normal size since they had been stretched out to the max. She had given me some meds to help and it made me shake furiously. My sister came in and told me that both of the boys were in the NICU, and they Matt was with them. 

Once out of recovery I was no longer going to the post partum floor of the maternity ward- but high risk maternity since I had had a post c section hemmorage. I was wheeled in my bed through the halls of the hospitals’ NICU so that I could see my sons.

Seeing your babies hooked up to machines to help them breathe and a ton of wires is scary shit. No one wants to see that. When I first saw Noah, he was on his tummy, and with every breath he took he was grunting. I was told that they might need to intubate him. Zayden was looking like the healthier twin at that time and I spoke to the Dr in the NICU, who spouted off timelines of 2-4 weeks before they could come home. I was heartbroken.

Matt was taking it even harder. When I reunited with him in the NICU with our babies, he seemed in a very far away place. He had heard about my hemmorage from my sister and was here I was in a hospital bed in the NICU while our boys were hooked up to machines. I had known this might happen and so did he, but seeing it is different. I was wheeled down to my room and matt came with me. I was in some pain, but okay. I could tell Matt was worried for Noah and Zayden and while he was with me in my room, he wasn’t really there- so I sent him back to the NICU.

That first night was a blur.

Noah did end up being intubated. But by the next day, he pulled ahead and became the stronger twin. Little by little they progressed over the next four days we spent in the hospital. Matt and I spent all our time in the NICU visiting the babies and feeding them. I pumped breast milk for them every 2-3 hours, hoping it would help them get healthier faster.  They had their IV’s taken out. They started eating more, especially Noah. By the third day, we were told Noah could come home with us when I was discharged.

I was so thankful. But at the same time I was devastated because Zayden wasn’t progressing as well. He had had a feeding tube put through his nose, because he wasn’t eating as much. Every three hours we would bottle feed him, and if he didn’t take the amount needed the rest would be put through his tube. He had 30 min to finish a feed otherwise a preemie baby spends more energy and calories eating. It was extremely stressful, especially when we just wanted to bring him home. If he had to have a feeding in his tube I would hold him in my shirt to do skin to skin.

Being discharged from the hospital with Noah and having to leave Zayden behind was the hardest thing I have ever done. I sobbed in my hospital room before going to get Noah and I cried as we walked out of the hospital. I knew he would be home soon and I knew he was in the NICU best possible place. But it didn’t feel right. 

We spent the last week visiting Zayden every day for feeds. He has been doing SO well and is due to come home tomorrow. It has been a nice adjustment just having Noah home, and it’s been tough with just one newborn! We can’t wait to reunite the boys together again after almost 10 days separated! 

Matt and I are lucky we live so close to the hospital, we didn’t have to travel far to see Zayden. we are also so thankful for those NICU nurses who took care of our boys and taught us so much about taking care of preterm babies. I plan on getting gifts for the ones who truly helped us through an extremely difficult ten days.

Now the real fun begins 💙💙

Zayden & Noah’s birth story Part 1

My beautiful baby boys were born on Valentine’s Day at 1:49 am. I was 36 weeks and 6 days. Obviously this was 10 days earlier than expected. The story of how it went down is long so I’ll be writing it in two parts.

Friday February 10th we had the carpets in our house cleaned. Matt and I were getting ready to leave the house and I was walking down our carpeted stairs. The minute my foot hit our tile entry way my feet slipped out from under me. I fell hard on my butt, and screamed for Matt who came running down the stairs. I held my huge tummy and immediately panicked, but I was also relived that I didn’t land on my stomach. 

I got up slowly and walked to the kitchen and pulled out the Doppler (thank you Mellissa!) and started on trying to find the boys’ heartbeats, which I was able to find very quickly. Relief washed over me as I knew at least that they were alive. Matt was wondering if we should go to the hospital, I was hesitant for a second..and then I tried to get up and felt a ton of pressure in my uterus. It wasn’t a question: we were going to the hospital. 

When we pulled up the vallet the car I couldn’t walk I was in so much pain that I was given a wheelchair and matt and I quickly went to labor and delivery. We were taken quickly into observation where I was hooked up for a stress test. Both boys were fine and since I wasn’t bleeding, I was told to stay off my feet and rest. We went home. The next few days I was in a bit of pain but nothing Tylenol couldn’t help with. 

Monday night around 10pm Matt and I were just getting ready to go to bed and I got up to pee and felt a gush. I first thought it was that my water had broken but when I went to the bathroom I was shocked to see that it was blood. This time there was no hesitation- matt and I booked it to the hospital. We were hooked up again to a NST that showed that the boys were fine, but because I was bleeding I was told the on call doctor was on her way. 

Dr Hastings was her name and my first impression of her was that I thought she looked like Maya Rudolph from SNL. Based on my fall three days earlier and the blood I had experienced tonight, she recommended a c section immediately. 

I was taken aback. They were fine. I wasn’t due for delivery until 2/23, I was only 36 weeks, Dr Guile was supposed to deliver me! This was not a part  of my birth plan!!!! Dr Hastings explained to me that she was concerned that my fall caused a placental tear. If that were the case, things could get bad for my babies- fast. It wasn’t worth it to not deliver and risk the twins. Based on the fact that I had ate a few hours before, I was told in two hours we would have a c section- on Valentine’s Day.

Behind closed curtain in the hospital I cried to Matt. I wasn’t prepared. I was scared of the surgery all of a sudden and most importantly- I was only 36 weeks and scared that the boys would have issues that would require NICU time. My sister was called and told to come to the hospital (she was to be in the delivery room along with Matt) and our parents were called too. 

I changed into a gown and Matt and Renea put scrubs on. I spoke with the anesthesiologist and we made the walk to the OR. Matt and Renea were told to wait outside while I was prepped in the OR. I was overwhelmed and couldn’t help crying. I climbed onto the table and the spinal block was administered (AWFUL) and everything went numb. I met my babies team of people there for the delivery. It seemed like a huge crowd- Dr, two nurses for me and two for the boys. 

Matt & Renea were brought in, and I remember being told I would feel some pressure as baby A was being pulled from me. It was the weirdest feeling. A few seconds later I heard Noah cry and he was held up over the curtain for me to see. Matt held my hand and kissed me and watched as the nurses did their assesment. 30 seconds later I felt another huge amount of pressure and Zayden made his entrance into the world, also crying. I remember being so relieved that they were crying! I watched Matt cut their umbilical cords while I was stitched up.

I had finally had my babies, something that I had been waiting for for almost five years. I was so happy, but things were about to get a little crazy. 

Stay tuned for Part 2 💙

36 weeks 💙

36 weeks today! 🙂

50% of twins are born by this week so hitting 36 weeks is big for us! Two more weeks and we get to meet our babies! It’s so crazy that it is so close. I could not be more ready though, I am insanely uncomfortable! 

Yesterday we had two Dr’s appointments. One with Dr Guile, where we had an ultrasound to check heartbeats and I had a vaginal swab for strep (which he said since I am having a c section doesn’t apply to me but the hospital wants to have it anyways). I thought this would be a good time to see if I was dilated at all, since I had started to lose my mucus plug in the last few days and I was mostly just curious. Dr G checked my cervix, let me know that my mucus plug was gone, but that I am not dilated at all. Also, Noah is so low that he could feel his head! 

I kind of wish I didn’t ask to be checked because 1. It hurt like a bitch and 2. I had some serious cramps after where I had to come home and take some Tylenol and a nap. Finding out I wasn’t dilated just wasn’t worth the pain! 

Onto Dr appointment #2: we officially graduated from our MFM yesterday after our last growth scan! We got to see the boys one last time on the high def ultrasound and the Dr said everything looked great and that I had been a “great incubator.” ☺️ we also got their final weight estimates:

Noah is measuring 5 lbs 15 ounces and Zayden is measuring 6lbs 3 ounces 

😳 yeah, I have a lot of baby in me. The Dr assured us that this is great and if we were to go into labor now that my chances of any NICU time would be very low. Nevertheless, I would still like to make it to my C section date. It is best for the boys to develop a little more and I would prefer Dr Guile deliver them (we all know how psycho I am about my Dr’s!). 

So now we wait, for the 23rd to get here or for labor to come on its own. We are as ready as we’ll ever be to meet these little guys! 

35 weeks ⏰

Hello! Still here. Still pregnant. 

The good news is it is finallllly February! My boys will be born soon, and if all goes as planned, in roughly 3 weeks! 

Holy Shit.

35 weeks with twins is no freakin’ joke, but I am hanging in there!  The swelling has subsided (I credit the Epsom salt baths, staying crazy hydrated and keeping my feet up constantly) but I’m still feeling the effects of carrying around this 40 pound bowling ball. My back kills if I stand for too long. Yesterday I went walking around Home Goods, and by the time I left I looked like the Hunchback of Notre Dame! 

NSTs continue to go great, and the boys pass quickly. Tomorrow we have one in the morning and I get to meet a lactation consultant who specializes in multiples. It’s part of the “moms of multiples” (MoMs) program that my hospital offers. I’m pretty excited because I have no idea how I am going to breastfeed twins, and can use any tips or tricks! 

We also start seeing Dr Guile (my OB) weekly until our c section. He was extremely optimistic yesterday on how everything is going thus far: normal blood pressure, boys are passing NSTs, low swelling, and I haven’t gained too much weight. We have a very good chance of making it to the 23rd! 

Matt is taking his leave (he gets paid paternity leave with me through his job, so we will be home together! Woohoo!) starting Friday and that will also be so great because he has been wonderful cleaning/organizing for the boys’ arrival. We still have some projects left to do but not too many! 

It’s hard to believe that the boys could come at anytime. I am going to try my hardest to keep them baking because I really want to make it to at least 37 weeks (when twins become full term) I read that for every day they stay inside, is three days less in the NICU. Please send us all your positive thoughts that we make it 22 days! 

What nighttime is like (x2)

Xo 

33 weeks update!

Hello all! Today I am 33 weeks and officially out on maternity leave!

WOOHOOOOOOOOOO. I couldn’t be happier because

At this point in my pregnancy I am uncomfortable all the time: I cannot sleep AT ALL, my ankles and feet are so swollen, I am out of breath just walking 100 feet and the list goes on. So I knew it was time to cut out and I am so happy I can just try and use the last 5 weeks I have left relaxing (as much as I can). Right now I am propped up in bed a lot, and I take two baths a day, which I look forward to every single day. Soaking in Epsom salt baths really helps with the swelling!

We are seeing doctors very frequently now. We see Dr. Guile (my OB) every two weeks, and have started doing Non Stress Tests 2x a week! NST’s are where I go in and I get hooked up to three monitors: One for each baby, and one to monitor my contractions. I then get a little clicker and anytime I feel the babies move, I have to press it and it measures their heart rates. Anytime they move, their heart rate should jump, and they have to pass this test each time we go. It is very cool to hear their little heartbeats for 20 minutes at a time, but also stressful because I am always wanting them to pass quickly! The last two have been great and it is weird to also see all the contractions I am having that I don’t even feel!

Braxton Hicks contractions have become an every day occurrence and I am pretty used to them now, but they can be very uncomfortable. My Dr said they aren’t anything to worry about unless they become painful or feel like period-like cramps. So far everything continues to look good and I am not showing any signs of pre term labor- so that is very good news!

The boys’ nursery is just about finished! Matt has done a lot of work putting up bookshelves and putting together lots of baby items like the bassinets, and stroller, and he also installed the two car seats in our SUV! Last week we also packed our bags for the hospital to keep in the car. So surreal. This time last year I wasn’t sure I would ever get pregnant, so packing my hospital bag was a crazy experience. Anytime I walk in the nursery it still doesn’t seem real. How is it possible that in 36 days I will have two baby boys to take care of?! I could not be more greatful.

My Gestational Diabetes has also been extremely easy to control by diet only, thankfully. I just make sure to not overdo it on carbs and my blood sugar numbers are 99% of the time perfect. I know its just a precaution for me to constantly check, but it is annoying. I would do anything to make sure I don’t go into early labor though, so I of course stick with it.

I don’t think I have anything else to update! Wish me luck that I can keep these babies cookin’ another 5 weeks! 🙂