Matt, Renea, and I watched Zayden & Noah get weighed and measured (both 5 lbs and some) and I couldn’t help but notice that they were not crying anymore. I felt a ton of anxiety watching them and feeling like something was wrong. One of the nurses said Noah needed some respiratory help but that he was okay and would be transferred to the NICU. I looked and Matt and told him to to go with Noah.
I was just finished being closed up and Zayden was still being looked over as I was being wheeled to recovery. They were on the fence as to whether or not he needed NICU time or if he was ok to come to my room. They stopped my bed at his and I was able to touch him and I ordered my sister to stay with my other son.
Off in recovery across the hall I was having my vitals taken and talking to two of my nurses. Everyone was commenting on how great it was that the boys were each over 5 lbs, and that I had made it as far as 36 weeks and 6 days. We made small talk about yoga, and I begged for ice chips because I was so thirsty.
One of the nurses started undoing my blankets over my c section incsision and I could sense her tensing up. She called for the nurses behind the curtain and I started hearing the word “hemmorage” I saw a ton of blankets being pulled off me soaked in my blood. All of a sudden Dr Hastings was back standing over me and about 5 nurses. I just layed back and prayed that my sons were okay- I wasn’t even worried about myself. I heard my sister come in and they wouldn’t let her see me.
After 10-15 min the hemmorage had been controlled- and Dr Hastings explained to me that sometimes twin uteruses have a hard time contracting back to normal size since they had been stretched out to the max. She had given me some meds to help and it made me shake furiously. My sister came in and told me that both of the boys were in the NICU, and they Matt was with them.
Once out of recovery I was no longer going to the post partum floor of the maternity ward- but high risk maternity since I had had a post c section hemmorage. I was wheeled in my bed through the halls of the hospitals’ NICU so that I could see my sons.
Seeing your babies hooked up to machines to help them breathe and a ton of wires is scary shit. No one wants to see that. When I first saw Noah, he was on his tummy, and with every breath he took he was grunting. I was told that they might need to intubate him. Zayden was looking like the healthier twin at that time and I spoke to the Dr in the NICU, who spouted off timelines of 2-4 weeks before they could come home. I was heartbroken.
Matt was taking it even harder. When I reunited with him in the NICU with our babies, he seemed in a very far away place. He had heard about my hemmorage from my sister and was here I was in a hospital bed in the NICU while our boys were hooked up to machines. I had known this might happen and so did he, but seeing it is different. I was wheeled down to my room and matt came with me. I was in some pain, but okay. I could tell Matt was worried for Noah and Zayden and while he was with me in my room, he wasn’t really there- so I sent him back to the NICU.
That first night was a blur.
Noah did end up being intubated. But by the next day, he pulled ahead and became the stronger twin. Little by little they progressed over the next four days we spent in the hospital. Matt and I spent all our time in the NICU visiting the babies and feeding them. I pumped breast milk for them every 2-3 hours, hoping it would help them get healthier faster. They had their IV’s taken out. They started eating more, especially Noah. By the third day, we were told Noah could come home with us when I was discharged.
I was so thankful. But at the same time I was devastated because Zayden wasn’t progressing as well. He had had a feeding tube put through his nose, because he wasn’t eating as much. Every three hours we would bottle feed him, and if he didn’t take the amount needed the rest would be put through his tube. He had 30 min to finish a feed otherwise a preemie baby spends more energy and calories eating. It was extremely stressful, especially when we just wanted to bring him home. If he had to have a feeding in his tube I would hold him in my shirt to do skin to skin.
Being discharged from the hospital with Noah and having to leave Zayden behind was the hardest thing I have ever done. I sobbed in my hospital room before going to get Noah and I cried as we walked out of the hospital. I knew he would be home soon and I knew he was in the NICU best possible place. But it didn’t feel right.
We spent the last week visiting Zayden every day for feeds. He has been doing SO well and is due to come home tomorrow. It has been a nice adjustment just having Noah home, and it’s been tough with just one newborn! We can’t wait to reunite the boys together again after almost 10 days separated!
Matt and I are lucky we live so close to the hospital, we didn’t have to travel far to see Zayden. we are also so thankful for those NICU nurses who took care of our boys and taught us so much about taking care of preterm babies. I plan on getting gifts for the ones who truly helped us through an extremely difficult ten days.
Now the real fun begins 💙💙