Bye Bye 2014!

Well the holidays are officially over and I am really happy they are! Don’t get me wrong- I love Christmas so much but there is only so much I can take of it. I was home for a full week, doing nothing but baking, eating and drinking. Well it caught up to me and today I checked out the damage- 6 pounds gained last week! SIX!?!? It’s just another thing that sucks about my body- not only does it suck at getting pregnant, it gains weight very quickly. Tear. So starting today it’s back to the gym and healthy eating for me! If I want to lose 15 pounds for my Spring IVF I have to start ASAP. Matt says he will do it with me, but lucky for him, his metabolism is so annoyingly fast, he’ll probably reach his goal weight in a week. Brat. 🙂

Since the donation website was launched I have received a lot of feedback, and I am not just talking the amazing people who have made donations. All last week I received amazing emails from girls I went to high school and college with, each telling me their infertility story.  All of them have at this point have conquered their infertility and their stories were very encouraging. There is nothing like hearing that others struggled to get pregnant and overcame it!! I got a lot of advice on what to eat, how much acupuncture worked, where to go online to get discounted meds, etc. Whether I plan to try these things or not, I am so thankful that these ladies confided in me their personal experiences and I am happy that because my story went “public” they felt  comfortable enough to email me!

The next step in our IVF journey is the meeting I have this week with my financial coordinator to go over the total cost of IVF and also a meeting with my new IVF nurse coordinator. I am really excited, as I think getting this information right at the end of 2014 will wrap up a shitty year of not getting pregnant. 2015 is Baby Allen’s year and I cannot wait for it to start!

See ya in 2015!


Letting people help

Today I let a BIG thing happen that I had a hard time coming to terms with- I accepted friends help.

A few months ago my very dear friend Alicia posed the idea after listening to me bitch (for the umpteenth time) about treatment costs, of starting a fundraiser account for Matt and I. I was very, very against it in the beginning. I told her horror stories about all the things I have seen people ask money for and while I knew this was different, I just didn’t feel right about it. She insisted and since I was in the very early stages of IUI at the time- I humored her by telling her that if we ever got to IVF then she could start the fundraising site. Well- fast forward three months and here we are.

Today the page went live (and since my blog is linked I am sure that’s why many of you are here now!) and while I am NOT ashamed of my story In the least bit and am actually happy that maybe people will come to know this is a more common thing- it is VERY hard for me to have this go public. Don’t get me wrong, our friends and family know we are going through this. But this is going to be on Facebook- SUPER public. People who know me but might not know why Matt and I don’t have kids are about to find out. While the thought seems daunting I know I need to sit back and let my friends do what they feel is the only thing they can.  My friends have been an extremely huge support to us, and although it’s just my heart that hurts sill trying to accept that this is real, I am 100% thankful for them every single day.

At the end of the day just knowing our friends are rooting for us- it’s what keeps Matt and I going. I do still want to thank Alicia for forcing me to see the light on this, I am truly grateful for you!

Here is the website if anyone would like to read it:


pics 289story


IVF 101

Today we had our IVF consult with Dr. S and it was extremely informative! I learned a lot about the process of IVF and I think Matt took a lot out of the consult as well. Dr. S does a really good job of making Matt and I comfortable and I believe this is a really important factor when choosing a doctor. My mom also got to meet her, which is great. Yes, my mom came to my IVF consult. She really wanted to, and I felt it would be good to have a third party there just in case Matt and I missed any information thrown at us- which happens when going through any infertility treatment.

Dr. S explained the process, on how I would be pumped full of fertility medicine in hopes to retrieve a high amount of eggs for fertilization. Generally speaking, anywhere from 10-20 eggs is a good amount. After the eggs are retrieved (via surgery), they are put in a dish with Matt’s sperm and that where the magic happens. From there, the 1-2 ‘best looking’ eggs would be transferred for implantation. All other eggs that make it (not all do) would then be frozen for future transfers if needed. We discussed in great length the advantages & disadvantages of transferring two eggs vs one. Dr. S knows I wanted to be pregnant like, yesterday, but RE’s generally only like to transfer one embryo because of the risks involved with multiple pregnancies. While I understand this, we are almost 95% certain that we will be transferring two. I would love twins at this point and Matt feels the same way. While there are risks in carrying twins, most people these days have healthy twin pregnancies. Not to mention the fact that adding another embryo will give me a 10% higher success rate of becoming pregnant. I read about it all the time: women transferring two embryos doesn’t mean twins every time, sometimes one baby sticks and the other doesn’t. If I can take my 50% success rate of bringing home a baby up to 60% by adding two to transfer- I’ll take it. Dr, S says at my age my chances of a twin pregnancy if two embryos are implanted are 40%. In my book, two babies are better than no babies 🙂

After all the science talk of IVF we discussed costs. IVF is a hefty bill, about 12k for us. I asked Dr S about egg donation (where I would donate my un-fertilized eggs to couples in need for compensation) and while I was told that this IS an option, as a donor you are not compensated until you are “chosen” by a couple for your eggs. So I could join the donor registry, but there is no guarantee that I would be chosen as a donor- especially as fast as I would like to do IVF. Ouch. So she discussed taking a loan out (which we are hesitant to almost not willing to do) or simply saving until we are ready. Matt and I will probably be discussing in length how we are going to get this money together ASAP. My ultimate goal is to have IVF done BEFORE I turn 31 in July. Matt and my Mom are pretty confident with a spring IVF which I think will be perfect.

Next step is to meet with the clinics financial coordinator to get the exact cost of our IVF cycle. Hopefully we can have that meeting before Christmas so my New Years resolution will be to save save save! Operation Baby Allen is underway and I couldn’t be happier!



Getting A Grip

Having to come to terms that we will need IVF to conceive has been extremely difficult lately. I have always walked a fine line between extremely hopeful fertility treatments are going to work and severe fear that I might not ever experience pregnancy. Pretty sure my husband thinks I’m bat-shit crazy because I am constantly being cheerful and hopeful that “this is going to work” and then having huge crying fits on how I’ll never be pregnant.

I am sure all of this is normal, at least for us infertiles. To be completely 100% honest- I do believe IVF will work. I am young (30 is very young in fertility land) and the fact is that the only reason why I am having problems conceiving is my one lazy ass tube. IVF was made for tube issue ladies like myself, as it completely bypasses my issue. I think the only thing that is keeping me from IVF bliss (like that’s real, ha) is the financial aspect of it all. I am looking towards a 10k bill for all this, I am practically investing in a human.

I have brainstormed many ways to come up with this money (besides my savings and parents help) I am looking into egg donation (more on that later), putting together a fundraiser, like an online auction or a 5k run/walk. Car washes. Yardsales. And my last resort: M & I getting second jobs, just for a few months.

No matter what- I know this will work out. Everything that is meant to be will be and now that I have got the whole “why me” aspect out of the way, I think I can move forward and really put this into motion. Hopefully we’ll get some more useful information after we have our IVF consult with Dr. S in a week.