1

WTF Appointment 

Today we had our WTF appointment with Dr Stephens. I was very nervous about it because it was going to be her take on why the cycle didn’t work. I had a bunch of questions for her, and being the great doctor she is, answered almost all of them before I even had a chance to ask them. 

We started at the beginning of the cycle, and she said everything went well, I responded great and things obviously went downhill after retrieval.  She said based on what we know now my trigger shot should of been pushed back a few days to let my little follicles catch up to size. Matt & I had kind of already figured this out, being that we only got 7 mature eggs to work with. We all agreed a more aggressive protocol would be used for IVF2 to ensure that I also produced more eggs. This was all good news, and then came the not so good news:

The embryologist notes from egg retrieval state that my eggs didn’t look so good. It obviously was in science talk and I had to have my dr dumb it down for me, but that’s basically the gist. They aren’t horrible- but they aren’t “textbook” eggs, and that is obviously why our embryos didn’t live past day 3 and probably why I am not pregnant. My Dr also suspects that because of this new info it could very well be the reason why I haven’t been able to get pregnant on my own. 

So there it is, as I had suspected. My eggs. I bypassed my big issue only to be confronted with a new one. I hate to pity myself but God what did I ever do to deserve this? 

We talked extensively about what I could do to help improve egg quality (High amounts of coq10, adding DHEA, healthy lifestyle and less stress) there were other supplements I will email her about from what I read in “it starts with an egg” and she will look into them. Dr Stephens said that my saving grace with this is that I am 30 years old. I am still young, she thinks we should keep trying, and absolutely do another IVF cycle, as some women have gone on to get pregnant with worse off eggs and embryos and each cycle is so different. 

She did however say that if we do another IVF and are met with the same results that we would probably want to start looking into egg donors or adoption. I am not ready to move to that as I am NOT ready to give up on the idea of my own biological child, but we will see how the next cycle goes. 

In the meantime I just need to live life a little longer before I go into full fledge egg quality boot camp.
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7

Eggcellent Research

Ever since our IVF fail I have nose dived into research, trying to find anything that will tell me why this happened to me. It hasn’t been easy and for the most part I have come up empty handed, as is the case most of the time. There is a well known book in the infertility community titled ‘It Starts With an Egg’ I had always read good things about it, but it was focused on improving egg quality and I always dismissed it since I didn’t think it pertained to me.

Well, then our IVF was a big fat failure. Almost an hour after finding out the results to my blood test, I downloaded the holy grail of fertility books to my kindle. I was am convinced that my eggs are shit. No, I haven’t had this confirmed by my doctor, and I a hoping she will rebuke this idea of mine, but it doesn’t make any sense to me why I would be in this situation if my eggs weren’t to blame. Either way, this will be addressed next week at our WTF appointment, but I figured since I have to do another round of IVF in six months, I should do whatever I possibly can to ensure my eggs are in tip top shape by then, right?! Right.

The book details a lot of everyday toxins we are exposed to, that are not only dangerous to everyone but are definitely things I should avoid to prevent egg damage. They include BPA’s found in plastic, chemicals in cleaning products, ¬†lotions, body washes and soaps contains parabens and phalates, and all the other crap in processed food. Needless to say I was pretty shocked and mad at myself for not buying this book, oh I don’t know…TWO YEARS AGO?! I’m not an idiot, I have always know the dangers of BPA’s and hell, I read Jessica Alba’s book The Honest Life, so I am well versed in parabens. But ¬†it wasn’t until this book spelled it out for me did I realize how silly it was to not¬†exclude these¬†chemicals from my¬†life prior to IVF.

What are ya gonna do? What’s done is done and the only thing I can do now is make small changes for next time and hope for a better outcome. ¬†We have thrown out ALL plastic containers and bought new glass ones. We only use safe body washes and lotions, only use Honest cleaning products, ¬†¬†and have made a commitment to eating very clean and when we can- organic. Hopefully these changes will make a big difference, but only time will tell!